frozenfoods: [esteban voice] thees ees a deesaster
neonblogfreak: pop-lock-and-dropthepj: I love that if you look up something on google you usually get really generic photos But if you add “tumblr” to your search you get really beautiful, artistic pictures
condorn: Ring around the rosies pocket full of ur a lil bitch
emmatsone: i’m a victoria’s secret model. it’s such a secret that not even victoria knows.
if you get a boyfriend does that mean you have to spend less time on the internet because idk if im prepared for that Hahahahahaa
spookymormon: spookymormon: my mom always texts me rude things so ive just started replying with an emoji of an eggplant and it gets her so pissed it’s great
have you ever fallen in love with a song and put it on repeat for 8 days straight and literally bathed in it and memorized every word and breath and drum beat and guitar string and just married it because wow perfect and then overplayed it and got bored of it but still had a special place in your heart for it because i have
no-hetero: drunkdate: im scared of shower sex like what if i slip and die doesn’t matter, had sex
chivalrousgambler: sabrinagrimm: sabrinagrimm: me huntin for the pussy SSTOP REBLOGGING THIS I’M A STRAIGHT 14 YEAR OLD WHITE GIRL Not anymore now you’re an adult-sized gynephiliac skeleton creeping eternally in a white expanse hunting for some choice vaginas. You made your bed now lie in it.
thenaebyrd777: inhalers: tips for flirting: carve your number into a potato and roll it towards eligible females you wish to court with the fact that this would work on me has me concerned
Fact: The human brain makes you see yourself as 5 times more beautiful than you really are.
Me: Well fuck
Actual Fact: It's actually, you see yourself 20% less beautiful than everybody else see's you.
Me: Thank fuck
sluttyoliveoil: sluttyoliveoil: what does the teen boy say after murdering a man haha no homo(cide)
royalteens: homework homewor homewo homew home hom ho how how a how ab how abo how abou how about how about no
at a supermarket
mom: ok you wait in line i forgot to get the milk
me: mom where are you please
me: mom please the line is moving fast
me: mom i cant breathe where are you it's almost my turn